But the architects only drew blanks

[defrostedpride]

WHO: Even and Aeleus.
WHERE: Traverse Town, Aeleus's part of the teashop apartments.
WHAT: Even requires an urgent Feelings Consultation, viz., what is this feeling so sudden and new (it's not loathing; he'd recognize loathing).
WHEN: One medium-sized breakdown after this. Late afternoon.
Warnings: None as yet!


In the late afternoon, when the town is quiet, there comes a knock on Aeleus's door.

Even is not looking his best. He's looked worse, certainly, but aside from the signs of persistent sleeplessness, his expression seems awry, as though his facial features have come unconnected one from the other. He looks lost.

He feels lost. Thus, Aeleus.

"I - I need your advice."

Comments

[earthshatter]

The presence of tears is not actually required. Or rather, Aeleus isn't going to insist that they be there. Bodies are strange things at the best of times, and with them only recently having gotten their emotions back it's not entirely unusual that things have yet to get back around to whatever passes as normal here.

"I don't think any of us could have," he answers, once it's clear that Even is done speaking. He may not be quite sure what it is that Even is speaking of, but not even he can run from the fact that they have emotions once again.

He's just a little better at burying his deep down, where they aren't nearly as immediate.

[defrostedpride]

"What we - what I - did," Even elaborates. Trying to explain is incredibly frustrating, and he can't seem to line his thoughts up right, but it's better than standing here like a fool. "I thought - here - it was gone. Or like it was gone. No trace...but it's not, is it? And it's..." He makes a sudden convulsive gesture, meant to indicate how heavy it all is, how he's been afraid to so much as touch it, like a mountain balanced on its peak that might crash down at the slightest provocation.

"How do I make it stop?!"

[earthshatter]

"I'm not sure there is a way to make it stop," Aeleus answers after a long moment of silence. It's not how hearts work. He doesn't blame Even for wanting to go back to where things were easier, but if the choice is being complete or not, he'll take the former.

"There should, however, be ways to make it easier."

[defrostedpride]

"Like what?" There's one way Even knows would make it stop - but he's not sure there are Heartless here, and then...well, if he'd liked being Vexen, he wouldn't be having this trouble now. (And that would upset Aeleus and thus not accomplish the goal of reducing the net surplus of unpleasant feelings.)

[earthshatter]

And now they come to the part that Aeleus is less than good with. Oh, he'll do his best, no doubt about that, but he's only managing to cope because he viciously smothers the worst of his own problems and that doesn't exactly make for a good coping strategy. Nor does it mean that he's anything remotely like someone who might be capable of offering suggestions.

"I'm afraid you may need to figure out the finer details on your own. But you needn't do it alone."

[defrostedpride]

Advice based around emotions is, without exception, trite and pointless, Even concludes. If Aeleus can't come up with anything better than that, clearly it's a futile enterprise in general. But...it works, somehow. Not being alone in this is...helpful. (That's probably selfish, but Even doesn't care.)

"This is stupid," he says thickly, starting to get himself under something like control. "And I hate everything."

[earthshatter]

It often is. That's why Aeleus doesn't mean to offer any. He knows better than to offer something trite and pointless to Even of all people, especially when he has his own problems to deal with (on his own time, of course, and certainly not when Even is relying on him to help figure things out.)

"I'm afraid so," he answers, doing his best to sound relatively apologetic about the whole affair.

[defrostedpride]

Even doesn't feel the need for Aeleus's apologies; after all, it's certainly not his idea to have emotions be so...emotional!

He's starting to calm down - the crying-or-something-like-it apparently was good for something - and with the relative calm comes hot humiliation at having broken down so completely. At least it's only Aeleus who saw him, but still.

"This - this didn't happen," he states in defiance of the facts, drawing himself up like that's the secret to dignity.

[earthshatter]

It might not be Even's idea, but it how life works at the best of times. Besides emotions are emotional. It's part of how they work, after all.

Still, Even is calmer now, so Aeleus is going to take that as a good enough place to start, under the circumstances.

"Of course," he answers, without batting an eye. If Even doesn't want to have it spoken of, then it won't be. It's a simple as that, and it's not like it's a thing he can imagine needing to share, either.