revenance_rpg | Strange Things Are Happening to Me

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Strange Things Are Happening to Me

Who: Jeeves and anyone in Ponyville
What: Jeeves finds his hooves in Ponyville and goes investigating.
Where: Around Ponyville in various places.
When: Throughout the second day of the week and into night
Warnings: None planned. Will add as needed.

[Scenario A]

Four legs. Jeeves stood still as he tried to figure out when exactly he had transformed between stepping into the portal and arriving in Ponyville. Not knowing when his body went from his own to an equine shape was almost as disturbing as being an equine. Four legs and a tail and a nose that protruded much farther than it should. The valet closed his eyes and breathed deeply. The fact that everything in the place was a shade of pastel rainbow wasn't helping. At least he could see that he was some sort of white pony with a black mane; this coloration was tolerable.

Descartes landing on his head and squeaking broke Jeeves from his reverie. The newly-minted stallion shook his head to dislodge the animal and took a tentative step forward. Or, rather, he moved one of his front hooves and shifted his weight. Not having knees was disturbing. Jeeves picked up one of his back legs high before setting that down. Horses had never been of great interest to the gentlemen he worked for, so his only real experience with them was during the War. He felt nothing like a warhorse, and suspected he looked ridiculous.

Jeeves struck off to find somewhere less conspicuous to practice his four-legged walking. At least he had yet to trip. That would be most unbecoming.

[Scenario B]

Once he'd mastered the basics of movement in his new body, Jeeves made for the landmarks he'd heard discussed in the scrolls. He might be found poking about the market square and the outside of Carousel Boutique, and inside the Ponyville library. He was interested in magic and the Elements, having discovered that he was in possession of some sort of horn on his head. Upon catching sight of fellow dreamers, Jeeves nodded politely and greeted them with "Good day, sir," or "Good day, miss," as appropriate. He didn't recognize most of them in their pony form, but it wouldn't do to be impolite.

"I wonder if you might have noted the peculiar weather patterns to the southwest. Have you noted any other peculiarities beyond what might naturally occur in this realm?" Because it bore asking, really.

[Scenario C]

Jeeves waited for the moon to rise over Ponyville. He'd seen it in one of Princess Luna's communications, but he wanted to watch it with his own eyes. It was much too early for night by his internal reckoning, but that had been thrown off over the course of the week. Once the stars had begun to show properly, the unicorn made for the edge of the forest, Descartes trailing after him. He had no intention of entering the woods, but he'd heard mention of the howling the day previous. Timber wolves and their howling would be the least of his concerns, though, as a pair of Juggle Pups scurried out of the darkness and toward him.

He tried to recall what Sora's guide had said about the creatures' weaknesses as Descartes flew forward to defend. One of the Pups threw its ball and knocked Descartes out of the air and onto the ground in front of Jeeves. That would be problematic.

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Jeeves suspected their relative ideas of 'fun' would differ substantially were any discussion of the subject held at any length. Her rather literal response to his inquiry did, at least, bring him down to earth enough to find his proverbial footing. That level of obliviousness was familiar to him, at least.

"I was referring more to the fact that equine hooves are not known for their dexterity, miss," he said. "Is there some magic in this place bending such physical limitations?" Jeeves was beginning to despise the lack of adherence to the physically possible here. It was most disturbing.

Pinkie tilted her head the other way and continued looking between him and the hoof for a few seconds. "What? No, that's not magic, silly! That's just how you hold things!" She'd never done it any other way, after all, and all the other earth ponies could do the same thing which meant it totally wasn't just her! "I mean, unless you wanna put it in your teeth or on your back."

"If you wanna hold things with magic, you're gonna have to use your horn! I can't really tell you how, 'cause I'm not a unicorn, but telekinesis is pretty easy! Any unicorn can do that!"

"Miss Pie, the wall of the hoof is designed to be immobile as it facilitates protection of the sole, frog, and other pieces of anatomy vital for walking in equines. It should not be physically possible for me to use it as a gripping appendage as is presently occurring. Certainly not when it is also fully functional as a natural hoof." This was beginning to frustrate him severely as he tried to make sense of it, though his features remained stoic and his tone mild.

And then Descartes decided that if his person was not going to eat the cupcake, then someone ought to. The Komory Bat snagged the improbable sweet out of Jeeves' hoof and landed on the ground nearby to dig in with a joyous squeak. Jeeves breathed deeply and dropped his hoof. "Her Royal Highness, Princess Celestia, was kind enough to offer some instruction in telekinesis, in any case." He lifted the spirit for a moment before setting it back down, a faint purple glow surrounding the animal as he did so. "I am still most mystified by much of your world, however, and its... peculiar mechanics. Do you reside here permanently?"

"Yep! Well, not here here." Pinkie, apparently done arguing hoof mechanics, hopped back up onto Lord Tubbington's back and pointed off towards the town. "When I'm awake, I live in the top of that big building shaped like a cupcake! I work there too! But now I only come here sometimes, 'cause even though it's got my house and all my friend's houses, no one else really lives here all that much. So it gets boring."

Had he seen Sugarcube Corner? Pinkie slid back down to stand next to him, peering up to make sure the building was visible. "Princess Luna WAS living here in Rainbow Dash's house for a little bit, and she said she was gonna make a cloud castle, but then she went back to Traverse Town so it was just me again."

Jeeves followed the point of her hoof. The sight of a piece of architecture shaped like some confectionery should not have been a surprise, but it was. "Traverse Town would seem to be the appropriate hub for those wishing to greet and work with the newly arrived." He wasn't happy to let the hoof argument go, but it was probably one of those matters for which no answer would be sufficient. It was as it was.

"I have not explored the town to any great extent, though. I would not wish to impose, but would you be willing to point out any additional relevant landmarks within the village?"

"Yeah, I spend most of my time there looking for people! And working in the coffee shop. I'm not sure if I actually really work there, but I like making pastries in their kitchen and then I just leave most of them for whoever!"

Pinkie cut off her chatter with a loud gasp. That gave her the greatest idea! "Ooh! Ooh! Tour time!" Grabbing one of Jeeves's hooves in hers, she dragged him up the side of the waiting Meowjesty with her, somehow scaling the beast's back backwards and with three hooves. "C'mon, Lord Tubbington! Let's do this tour in STYLE!"

Ponderously, Lord Tubbington arose and began galumphing towards town.

Jeeves was too surprised to resist the mare's pull, unused to being grabbed. He wasn't his employer, after all, and most tended to take his presence as too imposing for that sort of thing. He remembered Mrs. Wilberforce had done so when she visited, and it was just as disconcerting. But now he was atop the dream eater and trying to figure out how to hold onto it without the benefit of hands. Descartes flew after them, screeching what to Jeeves' ears sounded like encouragement.

He looked over at Pinkie and mimicked her stance. Their hooves were not normal, he had to remind himself of that. The rules that should apply to them did not. "While I appreciate your and your spirit's enthusiasm, Ms. Pie, a walking tour would have been more than sufficient for my purposes." His voice was tense as he watched the ground pass below them, visions of horses breaking legs and having to be euthanized with the business end of a rifle during the War flashing through his head.

"Yeah, but then what would Lord Tubbington do? It's WAY faster like this!" Mimicking Pinkie's stance may not be a good long-term idea; it barely took a few seconds for her to start bouncing about, half-leaning over the side to point things out.

"Here's the market square! This is where you'd go to buy stuff, if there was anypony here to sell stuff. I think I might make it into a giant ball pit. Oh, and that's Town Hall! There's nothing in there anymore much either! That's Quills and Sofas, they've still got some sofas in there if you need one! And here's Sugarcube Corner! I've been keeping IT running, mostly!"

Wow. Giving the tour was actually kinda sad when no one lived here anymore.

No, it wasn't a good idea. Jeeves had to hold back on the urge to grab her to keep her from tumbling off. She seem much more sure-footed than him, so he simply tried to maintain as dignified a mount as he could upon the dream eater's back.

When they stopped - however briefly - in front of Sugarcube Corner, Jeeves sprang off Lord Tubbington's back and landed with as much grace he reasonably could on the pathway. "I would be most interested in a more thorough examination of the inside of the establishment, Ms. Pie." Because that meant he wasn't atop that creature. "I am fond of baked goods."

Pinkie Pie gasped. Loudly.

"AWESOME! LET'S GOOOOOOOO~!" Holding that note, she dragged Jeeves through the door. "These are the tables where the customers sit! And this is the display case! Sorry it's empty, I decided it wasn't really worth filling it up every day! All the stuff's back here in the kitchen! C'mon, you can have as much as you want! There's SO MUCH!"

Jeeves, you may have made an error here.

He was beginning to realize this as he was jerked about. His patience was wearing thin with the mare, but he allowed himself to be pulled along. She could prove a useful at some point in the future, and he was not in the habit of burning bridges. "Thank you, Ms. Pie. That is most magnanimous of you, but I must apologize. I have something of a back condition." She seemed a girl given to sympathy. "I hope you will not think too very much less of me if I request that you please not pull on me. It tends to aggravate it." A small, but necessary lie.

Pinkie gasped loudly once more, this time in horror.

"Oh NO! Are you okay? I'm so so so SO sorry!" She darted around him briefly for a few seconds, hovering and unsure of what exactly to do. "Do you wanna go to - oh no wait, Lotus and Aloe aren't here. Nevermind. I could try to give you a massage?"

The mare smiled confidently as she offered, but really she knew her massages weren't as good as the spa ponies' would have been. She didn't even really do it all that often! Of course she was sure she could, but...

The thought of a massage from this particular female made Jeeves worry he might actually develop some sort of condition. She seemed like the kind of girl to use far more force than was necessary. Although, that might not be a wholly fair assessment if she was a competent baker. The pastries within view looked good enough. Still, it was best not to risk it when there were other ways to play it off.

"That will not be necessary, Ms. Pie, I am merely attempting to take precautions to prevent any possible aggravation." And he meant that in so very many ways. "I would much rather see your excellent comestibles. You baked and decorated all of them yourself? Most enterprising. Where did you acquire the necessary goods? Was the kitchen in this realm stocked as it usually is when in the waking world for you?"

"Yep! Everything was there!" Pinkie hopped the counter, flipping open part of it to allow Jeeves to come through after her. "I've had to buy some more stuff from the Moogles since then, I kinda split it between here and the tea shop in Traverse Town, because there's more people out there but the ovens here are WAY better. I don't think the other place was really supposed to be a bakery..."

As she was talking, she opened several pantries and one of the refrigerators, before finally grabbing a cloth in her mouth and using it to remove a pan of brownies from the oven. He'd just had one of her cupcakes, he should get to try something else now! "I might get 'em moved out sometime, but it's not even really MY store. Here, try a brownie!"

Well, Descartes had had one of her cupcakes, and though the dream eater was outside with Lord Tubbington, he was grateful in spirit. "Thank you, miss." Jeeves focused and lifted one of the brownies with his magic. Chocolate was something he tended to enjoy, though only in moderation. He'd enjoyed brownies on his and Mr. Wooster's sojourns to America, and Pinkie's is very good.

"It is a most satisfying dessert, Ms. Pie," Jeeves acknowledged with a gracious nod. "Might I inquire, though, that mark on your flank, what is its meaning? I had noted one appeared on my side, as well, and that the other ponies possess them. I had thought, perhaps they had something to do with professions, but that is not the sign of any baker with which I am familiar."

"Oh! That's your cutie mark!" Pinkie lifted a hind leg slightly, looking back at her own flank. "Ponies get those when they figure out their special talents. Mine means that I throw parties and make everyone happy! I'm good at baking too, because it'd be pretty silly if everyone was good at just ONE thing, but parties are my special talent. Like Princess Celestia has the sun and Luna has the moon!"

He recalled mentioning that Pinkie would been to only throw a party to re-acquire her Element. "Indeed, miss. I would like to think my talents extend somewhat beyond a standard tea service," he offered with the hint of a smile. "That does remind me of a conversation I had not long before meeting you with Her Royal Highness, Princess Celestia.

"I'm given to understand that you are the Element of Laughter. Had you considered hosting a party in the hopes of regaining your Element? Her Royal Highness seemed to think it might be an effective strategy."

"Oh, no. I was just gonna throw a party just because!" Pinkie tilted her head, rubbing her chin thoughtfully with a forehoof. "But I guess I can always try to get my Element back while I'm at it! Sure beats having to get it in the woods!"

"Indeed, miss. I must confess I was somewhat at a loss to understand the precise nature of your Element, so I was surprised that Her Royal Highness thought such a ploy would work." Jeeves polished off the brownie and began looking around the kitchen, gliding along quietly. "Laughter is not something I typically associate with a characteristic. It is more an action, is it not?"

"Well, YEAH. But it's totally a thing too! It's like..." Pinkie lapsed into silence, thinking about it as she followed Jeeves around the kitchen. Eventually she got bored of this and started pulling things out of the fridge. "It's like when you throw a really special birthday party for your friend, and they really like it a lot, and - oh, but THAT sounds like Generosity! I dunno, I know what I mean."

Her voice was slightly muffled as she leaned into the freezer, pulling out a tub of cookie dough. "You should ask the Princess! She knows more about them than pretty much anyone."

"Her Royal Highness seems a most mysterious mare," Jeeves returned. "Whether by design or habit, I could not say." He suspected it was a bit of both, particularly if she had lived for centuries as Luna had. "She said I would understand when we met." So far, his impression was that Pinkie might not go amiss among the female friends and acquaintances that Mr. Wooster kept, were she of higher breeding. That wasn't a particularly bad thing, but he rarely found their antics nearly so amusing as they themselves found them.

"You do seem a most exuberant young lady, Ms. Pie. Such optimism when far from home and family is to be commended. How long have you been here?"

"A couple of months!" Pinkie took out a cookie sheet as well and started setting out the dough, surprisingly adroit at it for someone with hooves. "It's not been all that bad. I've got Rarity here, and the Princesses, and THEY'RE my friends! Plus I got to make new ones! My dreams are usually pretty weird anyway."

Jeeves watched the process with no small amount of interest. It wasn't that he was particularly interested in baking - he practiced it as part of his duties for Mr. Wooster, but it wasn't a hobby - but the fact that she was doing it with hooves. He kept an eye out for some sort of magical effect that resembled fingers, but none appeared. She was just an equine using unnaturally flexible hooves.

"It has been my experience, Ms. Pie, that most dreams would fall into the category of unusual or disturbing," he replied, though he wouldn't discount this girl's dreams being beyond even that. His brow did furrow slightly. "Have you been experiencing the recurrent dreams, as of late? I would not say they have 'plagued' me, but it is most queer to recount the same experiences night after night." Or what passed for 'night' in Traverse Town.

"Oh, yeah. THOSE are weird." Pinkie finished her preparations, somehow managed to turn the dial on the oven without fingers, and put the sheet in. "Mine are always about the Princesses." Well, technically they were about Nightmare Moon, but that was kinda almost the same thing. They weren't really nightmares, anyway; she hadn't been all that scared of Nightmare Moon even when she was real, and nowadays Princess Luna usually showed up after a few minutes to fix things up.

"What're yours about? You know Princess Luna can do stuff with them, right? You should talk to her if you have nightmares, she's great."

"They seem to revolve around an evening at the country estate of my employer's favored aunt," Jeeves replied. That was about as much detail as Pinkie was going to get as he had no intention of discussing his activities in the dream. She hadn't gone into any depth on her side, anyway. "It would seem to be some combination of memory and fantasy. I am aware of Her Royal Highness, Princess Luna's abilities, though.

"As I said, the dreams are not nightmarish. They are simply odd at the moment. I imagine I may be one of the luck ones." He tilted his head slightly. "You do not seem particularly troubled, Ms. Pie. I hope your dreams aren't wholly unpleasant. I can't imagine they would be if they are about your rulers."

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Strange Things Are Happening to Me

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