revenance_rpg | Mission 4

Who: Xion and Even
What: Discussions regarding some of Xion's background
Where: Even and Xion's apartment, Traverse Town
When: Afternoon
Warnings: Unhappy backstory reveals leading to potentially interesting reactions.

The last set of odd dreams had taught Xion that it wasn't any good to try to go back to sleep immediately after waking from them. It never worked, and just added to her frustration. Going back to her usual dreamless sleep had been a relief.

This more recent set of dreams was even more bothersome for the fact that they were based in reality. Going back over some of the worst scenes from her life (if it could be called that) every night meant she often didn't want to go back to sleep at all--especially since sometimes she woke before the part where she and her friends found each other again and made up.

At least they knew the truth now, and she'd told them before circumstances had forced her hand. Lucky as she'd been so far, she didn't know when someone might see her...not looking like herself.

It was with this on her mind that she went to see if Even was awake and working on something. If she wasn't going to be able to sleep, she might as well help. There was usually something to be neatened up, at least.

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Not any more eager to continue speaking on the subject that Even was to hear about it, Xion was more than happy to stop. She paused, ready to simply take a moment to collect herself and wait until he was ready to hear more.

His following outburst was unexpected and caught her off-guard. While Xion managed not to flinch, she did take a step back, eyes wide before she looked away in an attempt to find some response to what was being said.

Even irritable or angry was normal. Even as worked up as Axel had been the second time he'd come to take her back to the Organization...It wasn't something she'd ever thought she'd see.

A small shadow appeared on the floor near her feet and Manda came through. Xion automatically picked her up, the Spirit's presence a comfort at the moment. It was almost as if Manda had sensed she was upset and come to offer support.

There were questions she could ask in response to his: if he had known what the flaws would lead to, would he have still created her; if he didn't know, why blame himself? Those didn't seem right. Better to start with the easier answer, though when Xion spoke her voice was quieter than before, and her gaze was still somewhat averted, focusing somewhere in the distance.

"I tried to find a better way--tried to go back to Sora myself. If I did that, the memories could be returned without Roxas and I having to fight. But the Organization found me before I could, so...I made sure Roxas won. Once I faded, not even Namine would be able to find a way to keep me in everyone's memories."

And she'd died. She'd been gone, leaving no trace that she'd ever been, not even a memory. Just gone, as though she hadn't mattered.

Even didn't know why that mattered so much to him, nor did he know what the emotion was welling up within him until he could feel nothing else. Why did he feel sick? Why couldn't he breathe properly? Why did he hurt, directionless but deep to the bone? Why was this, was Xion, so important?

And what was he supposed to do, to say, when he didn't know what he wanted to do or say? (Frost was curling out around his boots on the tiles.) There was something he was supposed to say or do, something he had to say or do, but he didn't know what. He had to - he couldn't - he couldn't think.

The only thing he knew was that Xion's face and the soft sound of her voice hurt him in a way he couldn't understand, much less remedy, and the idea of hurting her was worse. So with an inarticulate cry he fled, leaving the Potions to bubble in their flasks as he left the lab and then the shop, driven by nothing but a compulsion to get away from what he didn't understand.

Did it count as dying if, in a way, you'd never been a whole person? Xion had gained a sense of self, yes, but even that hadn't been enough to grant some stability in the connection between her, Roxas, and Sora. Though it had been difficult, she'd eventually come to terms with the fact that she needed to return to her Original. The sting from that hard truth was gone.

What hurt was not knowing what to say in the face of how obviously distressed Even was. Before she could get hold of herself enough to try to say something, he ran. For a moment she stood, wide eyed with surprise.

Then her gaze dropped and her shoulders slumped in defeat. She should have known this wouldn't go well, even if Even deserved to know. After a moment to wipe her eyes (and hug Manda), she took a moment to turn off the burners under the Potions before going back to her room.

Maybe she should go after him. Part of her thought that might be a good idea, but a greater part of her didn't. She'd said enough. Now it was time to wait until they'd both had a chance to calm down.

Xion sat on her bed, knees pulled up to her chest. Manda settled into place on side of her, Barkley on the other. That settled, Axel slithered into his usual spot, draped like a scarf around her neck and shoulders.

Mission 4

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I hope this is okay? They should definitely talk again after Even's calmed down.

Yup, 'tis fine-hope you don't mind me wrapping with this? They shall definitly have to talk later.