That deal wasn't going to last forever - Wash knew he'd have times when he quietly tore himself to pieces, but as long as he didn't do it in front of anybody, then Ziva didn't have to know. What she didn't know wouldn't hurt her.

...okay, that line of thinking was dangerously inaccurate, but that wasn't about to stop Wash.

"And she's probably pretty proud of that."

Melody meowed in affirmation. You bet she was!